#1
  1. Philip@SearchBenefit.com
    SEO Chat Good Citizen (1000 - 1499 posts)

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    How to SPAM SEOchat


    Dear spammer! Thank you for your interest in spamming SEOchat. Now that I have your attention, as one of the moderators here I am more than happy to answer your query. I will discuss various forum spamming techniques and tell you what results you can expect achieve with them.

    But first of all, welcome to SEOchat, the world's top SEO forum. It is an honor to have you in the dwindling ranks of our spammers. You can start by not reading our Forum Rules. After all, you are here to spam, right? So let's get right down to business.

    The following list includes some of the common forum spamming techniques that can be applied to SEOchat.
    • Advertisement of products or services in a post ("We offer the best cheap Viagra in SEOchat..."; "I am an SEO expert, hire me!")
    • Advertisement of products or services via private messages to members
    • Link-dropping in posts (find a pretext to insert links to your own site or to those of your clients’; those links are nofollow but they are still great for SEO, right? The only downside of this method is that you need to meet certain requirements before you can post links, but you will eventually meet them)
    • Fake signatures (you can't have a real signature until you have reached the minimum time and post count requirements, so until such time you can create a fake sig and post it under a line at the bottom of each post: include your company name, domain name, contact info and/or your amazing offer)
    • Contact info in the post (phone number, email address... even if you don't advertise anything maybe they'll guess that you are a great forum spammer and blog commenter and call you for your services anyway?!)
    • Posting just to up your post count (these include worthless posts that ask a fake question like "How can I be number 1 on Google?" or "Is Google Analytics good? I have heard it's good..."; make a profound remark like "I agree with you!", "Thank you for sharing this valuable information!" or "Nice to be here!"; or state a commonplace: "Google likes great content!"; "Keep updating your site and adding quality backlinks!")
    • Sig-dropping posts (once you get signature rights, you can make a lot of the kinds of posts like those mentioned in the previous bullet, so that your linked signature appears as frequently as possible)
    • Plagiarized content (if creating one-liner posts like those discussed in the above two bullets seems like too much work, you can also steal a nice post on the Web, just copy and paste it in SEOchat; if that's too much, you can copy and paste a line of two from any post above your own)
    • Multiple sockpuppets (this technique is very clever and is for more advanced spammers, be proud of yourself if you use it; basically you create a lot of different identities in the forum and use these multiple accounts to apply the techniques listed above)
    • Did I miss anything? If you are interested in a particular good spamming technique that is not listed here, don't hesitate to let me know and I'll gladly include and address it.

    Since you have chosen to skip the Forum Rules, I'll tell you up front that all of the above practices are strictly disallowed in SEOchat, as in most other forums. But when did this ever stop you?

    The techniques I have given you above are a fantastic method to waste a lot of your time and effort, since you have nothing better to do! Unlike in some other forums, where you may possibly gain some traffic from your spam and pad your already-big link-building report, in SEOchat the best results you will achieve will be the waste of a lot of time and the ruin of your reputation. I know that since you have no life you won't mind that. So I won't bore you with moralizing statements that spam is wrong, that it contributes to global warming, and that normal people hate spam. I know that you don't care about morality or ecology and are not a normal.

    So let me just tell you spamming here will, most sadly, not get you very far:
    • SEOchat's culture is different from that of most other SEOforums, some of which are spam tolerant or even unmoderated. Here, we hate spam.
    • SEOchat's members actively and willingly participate in fighting spam. They report it when they see it. Indeed, we reward the most vigilant among them with the title of Top Spam Buster and display a nice graphic next to their names, which is prestigious and totally cool. The title of Top Spam Buster is highly competitive, so for every spam post that you make a few members may be vying to report it. It's all good clean fun.
    • Those members who miss the chance to report your spam will simply give you negative reputation, which will put a public red mark on every post that you make. There's an excellent chance that someone who might otherwise wish to hire you will check out your reputation level and pass.
    • Every time you post a spam message, all the participants of the thread in which it is posted receive email notifications. They then revisit the thread, find your post, report it, give you negative reputation, or both.
    • Spam posts do not expire until we delete them. If you have posted spam, it will eventually be found and dealt with accordingly.
    • Our moderators are dedicated spam-fighters. That's why they have volunteered for that position in the first place. When they catch you spamming, they may first give you warnings, then ban you temporarily, and eventually ban you permanently. Or they may ban you permanently right away, depending. I don't blame them because it's fun to ban a spammer.
    • We have at our command and are constantly adding top-of-the-line investigative tools. I am not telling you what they are, but they work like a charm. Get this clue: we know all the techniques I have told you about and more, and we know how to detect and defeat them efficiently and with the greatest embarrassment to you.
    • We reserve the right to go beyond permanently banning you and all your IP addresses from SEOchat. Think about it: we have your IPs and your complete spam record. We may take this data to all kinds of places. All kinds of anti-spam blacklists exist. The search engines encourage link spam reports. In some cases your employer, too, might be grateful for such information, especially if you are spamming form a work IP and on your office time. The possibilities are endless.

    With this understanding, you have all the information that you need to start spamming SEOchat, successfully waste your time and dignity, and be penalized and banned. Don't bother to contribute meaningfully and with a good will, or your posts might become popular and even earn you a high reputation. Heck, we might even love you to pieces if you make great contributions to the forums instead of spamming. Now, you would not want something like that to happen, would you?

    Comments on this post

    • SBR agrees : Well said
    • terriwells agrees : :-D
    • himanshu160 agrees : i wish spammers read this post to the end
    • pro_seo agrees : You're a mean MAN! Sorry outta rep for ya
    • JVRudnick agrees : this is great "sticky-bait" Phil....you MODs should make it one! :-)))
    • seogoat agrees : nice1 Philip!
    • NewDelhiSEO agrees : wo hoo... this is awesome
    • lalitburma agrees : With some humor ... love it
    • GabrielG agrees : I wanted to write something like this...
  2. #2
  3. Super Moderator
    SEO Chat Genius (4000 - 4499 posts)

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    For a moment, I tried to read this from a spammer's perspective and it's soooo demotivating....darn you Philip!!

    Can this be made a sticky?

    SEO FAQs - You might find your answer here.
    SEOchat Forum Rules - Read Before You Post
  4. #3
  5. Super Moderator
    SEO Chat Mastermind (5000+ posts)

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    Nice one Philip...

    I've stuck the thread.
    ClickyB
    "The quality of the visitor is more important than the volume..." (Egol 22nd Feb 2008)
    [New to SEO/SeoChat?] [Canonical Problems?] [Forum Rules & Posting Guidelines]
  6. #4
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    Registered User
    SEO Chat Explorer (0 - 99 posts)

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    Philip, I really love your writing style, the way you are discouraging a potential spammer but at the same time- giving him a perspective of becoming the contributing member of this forum... this is just a spam related subject, but this method of positive encouragement could be applicable in everyday life.
    disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist or anything
  8. #5
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    Permanently Banned
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    Hi I am new in the forum...................
  10. #6
  11. Philip@SearchBenefit.com
    SEO Chat Good Citizen (1000 - 1499 posts)

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    Originally Posted by mandy333
    Hi I am new in the forum...................
    Thank you for spamming SEOchat! You have now been permanently banned. Your very brief stint here has served as a useful example to others.

    Comments on this post

    • Highland agrees : ROFL owned!
    • distinctseo agrees : haven't heard from u in a while, happy banning :D

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