Page 1 of 2 12 Last
  • Jump to page:
    #1
  1. Mr. Goober Guy ;)
    SEO Chat Good Citizen (1000 - 1499 posts)

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Tampa, Florida
    Posts
    1,320
    Rep Power
    24

    Post #400 - Observations from the Loo


    I figured since I wasn't bright enough to celebrate my 100th post (darn skippy I am jealous!), I will take the 400th as an oportunity to smoke a cigar and celebrate 400 stylish posts of varying degree of quality. Yes, i decided this yesterday by golly. The "Loo" just gave me time to think about a lot of things. By the time many of you finish reading this, you may come to understand where the bulk of my ideas and thoughts come from and understand just how valuable they are! hehehe..

    For those curious about what a "Loo" is (Pronounced "Lew") ... see http://www.bathroomlife.com/link_poop.htm

    About 3 am last night I woke up with a bad case of I gotta go. We've all had these situations. Sometimes they resolve themselves quickly, sometimes it takes far more time than we want to give it or think it should. Think of this in terms of SEO.... That's Lesson One.

    To continue, by the time I dragged my bottom (literally by putting one hand on each cheek) to the Loo, it turns out it was bad case of constipation, no doubt brought on from a combination of way to much chinese (2 quarts of Pork Fried Rice..mmmmmmm) and stress over google rankings and referral rates. (See Lesson One)

    Like most here, I keep a note pad and pen handy in the Loo for just these occassions. This is Lesson Two though not site related, it could be depending on your ideas. If you don't, you should. Some of the best ideas and observations come at the moments of our greatest discomfort and distraction. Needless to say, if you live and breath SEO like me, this is typically a good idea in keeping these note pads handy in places of great discomfort. You can expect SEO related "Eurekas!" It's at these moments of greatest distraction that we reap clarity to our biggest problems. Ok, they seem like clarity given the circumstance... It's also why ideas are so quickly forgotten. Typically we have other things on our minds. While the writing definitely tends to be sloppy in these situations, you can capture some great thoughts.

    Other great places I keep note pads is next to the cutting board in the kitchen (Though I don't keep a pen as I figure I'll have plenty of blood handy for writing purposes), In the passengers side of my car for when any woman is driving, next to the mailbox for when I gather the bills out, next to the bottle of Gin, though this could be covered by the Loo, and naturally, I have a secret stash located next to my collection of the "Monkeys Greatest Hits" CD's. Put one of those in and you will be amazed at the ideas you come up with. However, avoid the ones that start will Kill. These are usually not very constructive or recommended.

    So back to my story. With my bottom firmly planted on my nice soft and quickly warm "Winnie the Pooh" Loo seat, (and god it is comfortable - everyone should have one of these) I begin to realize this is no nomal potty call. So I quickly grabbed up my pen and pad in preparation for killing time. (btw, if you smoke, I highly recommend keeping an extra pack of smokes and ashe tray handy as well. Think of this as Lesson Two A, as many know, once you sit down, getting back up is not aways the best idea and any SEO that Smokes need some form of assistance to clarity. If you don't smoke, I recommend a coffee maker ready to brew. Now these are lessons to live by! )

    So, with my buns firmly planted, I wrote some Observations From the Loo;

    Lesson Three:
    I should have done a better job researching my KW's. Instead of focusing on (example) "Mortgage" and wasting 6 months and achieving no rankings at all, I should have looked at localized searches such as Plant City Mortgage Company and Florida Home Loan and Mortgage Loans in Lakeland etc etc etc. Research you KW's starting locally outward. The targeted traffic you'll see from localized searches will pay for themselves ten fold far quicker. Think of it as playing 4 square with a kick ball vs. trying to play with a bowling ball. Watch your toes!!!

    Lesson Four:
    I kept asking myself, why did I not then, knowing my keywords, sit down and design my site structure on paper before I tried to build the first page? This might explain every time I try to add a new page, I end up having to move something. Pretty soon, I may have to move the pages to another site as there seems to be no more room for links on the home page. Sigh....

    Lesson Five:
    Don't drink and write content at the same time. This is not a good mix for quality sites. (However, when driving, have your note pad and pen handy as this seems to work wonders for the ideas.) Anyway, for some reason, all those good KW's I did research ended up fitting on one page. It now appears I have more work to do which sucks, since I hate work...but that's another story. Needless to say, I now have to be sober and try to write all this content spreading out my KW's to topical pages using the site structure I should have designed in lesson 4. You know, its starting to look like I should have hired SEO_AM.....

    Lesson Six:
    I was naturally researching my competition (and with all these KW's that darn sure took some time) and found that I like this one top sites meta tags so I just copied their tags from the home page and placed them on all the pages on my site, including the 4000 newer pages of additional kw's I decided I'd target. I do recommend removing the other sites domain name from them if you think about it....lol...oops... I still don't understand why my Mortgage site won't rank number one for Toilet Paper. I have a page dedicated to whiping! Google sucks man! So anyway, it occured to me, during a momentary "Plop" in the Loo, that I most certainly should have written my own Meta tags and made them unique for each page making sure that all 700 KW's were listed in the description and keyword meta tags. So just one more roll of paper I have to add to my things to pay for now. BTW, what do they call the rolly thing that holds the paper? Can you imagine someone actually got rich off this idea!

    Lesson Seven:
    When most of us were fifteen we couldn't waaaait to get our drivers license. We had to study real hard and take this god awful written test just to get our learners permit. Some of us had to take that test 7 or 8 times until we got to know the little old lady at the counter who eventually fixed some of our answers for us. Ya know the one I'm talking about. Anyway, on your site are something called Header and Alt tags and internal links. These are like signs in the road. They tell visitors to stop or go or yield or whatever. They should use selective Targeted KW's that visitors understand and will grab their attention. It's like a stop sign. Now, I find the word "STOP" boring, so whenever I can get away with it, I don't. Now, if your visitors find these boring and they aren't unique and interesting enough to grab their attention, you could inadvertantly be responsible for causing a ten car pile up. Do you really want to live with that for the rest of your life? Make each page is unique and think of these tags and links as signs directing traffic. Otherwise your visitors will be like me and try to blow through every stop sign and street light in town!

    Lesson Eight:
    You know how in high school that hot chick you asked out said, god your ugly, no way!!! Popular people in high school never did seem to have any modesty. Fortunately age gets even!! hehehe....Anyway...apply this to your site.
    For visitors - think of them as that hot chick or hot guy ya wanted to date, among other things, and your site as a picture of you. Now, are you drunk? Sober? To many gray hairs or worse yet, like me, consider the growing hair in your ears a Hedge against the future baldness you see coming.
    Design your site around your visitors, not you. If your visitors are punk, well, punk it up baby. If they are grandma, well, the smell of ben gay is not so bad after you get used to it.

    For Bots - Make sure your code is clean. If it looks like a christmas tree when you check it, it might be pretty, but this usually means somethin be broken. Now, I'm all for the christmas spirit, especially if other sites are giving me rankings, traffic, free gifts, vacations, money.... but by golly, sometimes its the little things and I just want to be held...ummm...
    What first impression will your site make?

    So, now, we have KW research...we have, site layout.....we have content, we have meta, we have the beauty contest, we have coding....ohhhhhh...... yes yes yes.
    Cheerios!

    New to SEO? See the FAQ!

    My Disclaimer:
    Don't Listen To Me - I know nothing!
  2. #2
  3. Mr. Goober Guy ;)
    SEO Chat Good Citizen (1000 - 1499 posts)

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Tampa, Florida
    Posts
    1,320
    Rep Power
    24

    Continued


    Lesson Nine:
    Density. Remember in the boys locker room after PE when everyone pointed at your thingy laughing, (Don't even tell my that was just me), well think of this in terms of density. Your KW density matters. To much and no way, to little and the serps snicker. Soooooo apply your density to Lesson Five, Six and Seven. Whether placing these KW's in your links, metas, alts, header or content. Don't make me refer you to my plastic surgeon as for some reason, he prefers trimming rather than adding *Blush*..... I think he may be one of those that got special treatment at the drivers license office.

    Lesson Ten:
    Check all of this before uploading the first page whenever possible. You should have the initial pages, original content, original metas, site layout, site beauty, etc etc etc. Link check to make sure you have no broken links, no coding erros and great density. Otherwide, its like wearing dirty underwear and getting in a bad accident. Ewwwwww. I have a friend of mine, she's a firefighter and I am hear to tell ya, people actually do get caught in dirty underwear. Mom was right and I change mine EVERY day because of this and I highly recommend you change'em to. BTW, throw away the ones with holes. They laugh at them the hardest cause undies are so cheap.....lol

    This covers the basics of on site development. (To think some people actually go to school to learn this stuff...umm granted, they make 6 times my salary....See mom is right.....)

    So by this time I'm still sittin in my Loo on my soft comfy "Winnie the Pooh" seat thinking about all the things I could write about and and how to help my own site in Google...argh. It was at that moment I decided to grab the box of laxatives to see if this would help. So i read the directions and it said take "Two" tablets and works in 6 to 12 hours. It's 3:30 am and I'm tired and grumpy. Naturally, I'm sitting their doing the math thinking that if I take 4 I can halve the amount of time and If I take 6..you get the idea. So I figured I got a pretty good bowel and I shouldn't need to wait more than 6 hours, so doing the 50% math I calculated I only needed to take 8 to get to half an hour. This actually led me to thinking about my own sites dismal 11 referal rate for Google this month and additional things I can do to improve this. So, I popped my eight pills and started writing!

    Lesson Eleven:
    In off site SEO Links are the only Rule you need to know. Think of the serps as the bank and links as your cash. The more cash you have, the more the banks want you. The more cash you have, the more the serps pay in dividends. Stop making cash and eventually, your cash runs out. Make a good enough investment and the cash flows naturally into your bank account. Continue investing and the cash continues to grow. Get it? Links Links and More Links. It definitely explains why I am so damn broke! Sigh.......... So what do you do with these links? Remember Lesson One? Take those KW's and place them in your anchor text. Point those links to the relevant pages. What no home page only links? No, build your links according to the search term you're targeting. You're heavy hitters go home and up top and get the most links. Your others, well, sometimes the internal links are all you need. A lot depends on what those KW's are which is why it's important to do your KW research. Don't just link to your home page. Deep link your site using targeted RELEVANT KW's related to the page your targeting. Something I need to do much, much, much, much..ok you get the idea. A lot of still.

    Lesson Twelve:
    Link out to authority sites and hubs that focus on your industry and KW using the targeted KW phrase on the targeted landing page. Now, this may sound contrary. What, link out without getting anything in return??? I know! Imagine my surprise when It actually worked. Think of it like this. You got this great song stuck in your head. Now, you can't get rid of it to save your life. So you go a long humming the darn tune cause if you don't you gotta listen to it in your head which is far worse as its like psychological war at that point. So, you go into this store and you decide your gonna start hummin it out loud in the store. Next thing ya know, the cashier now has the same song stuck her head. Hell, this made no sense. None the less, linking out is very, very important and needs to be applied liberally. Don't be afraid to link out. The traffic you are paid back with is far higher than any you risk losing.

    and Finally Lucky
    Lesson Thirteen:
    There is absolutely no humor in this! Once you site is live, back it up before making changes and save those changes. There is nothing worse than ranking two weeks after you've made changes and not having the original pages that are now ranking well....OMG this sucks! I mean, this really sucks. Especially when multiple pages start jamming and you have none of them and a no cache meta...lmbo!!!!

    So, it's simply amazing what you can come up with while in the Loo with Winnie the Pooh. However, I'm not quite done with this post.
    You see, many here post the FAQ, so I'll not bore you with the details and just direct you to look for them, what I will do is share with you some additional stuff some of which I believe many of you will find of great value.

    Let me say, before I begin, don't worry about the links until you have followed the Lessons and your site is truly ready. Patience is a wonderful thing. Some of you might find this interesting some not, I found it interesting enough: http://www.vaughns-1-pagers.com/internet/google-ranking-factors.htm

    Many of you will say, "How Do I...." The best answer is search this forum. Though a question is unique to you, chances are very high that it is not unique to this forum and the original answer is only a search away for you.

    But "Loo" Man, Where do I get links? Well, Start with looking for one way links and industry related using these search phrases:

    "Suggest link" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Suggest a link" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Suggest site" + "your keyword(s)"
    "Suggest a site" + "your keyword(s)"
    "Suggest URL" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Suggest a URL" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Suggest an URL" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Add link" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Add a link" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Add site" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Add a site" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Add URL" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Add a URL" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Add an URL" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Submit link" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Submit a link" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Submit site" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Submit a site" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Submit URL" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Submit a URL" +"your keyword(s)"
    "Submit an URL" +"your keyword(s)"
    "favorite links" +"your keyword(s)"
    "recommended links" +"your keyword(s)"
    "cool sites" +"your keyword(s)"
    "cool places" +"your keyword(s)"
    directory +"your keyword(s)"
    directorys +"your keyword(s)"
    directories +"your keyword(s)"
    links +"your keyword(s)"
    "your location" +"add url"
    "your location" +"suggest a site"
    "your location" +"submit site"
    "your location" +links
    "your location" +directory

    If they do not already give one way links, well, write a beautiful letter about your beautiful site and starving children and how beneficial your resource would be to their visitors and to feeding your kids. Be sure to include the code so it's easy for them to add.

    You might be surprised at the little gems one finds in the "Loo" and the number of site owners that will give you that link or ask to become link partners. I personally recommend focusing, as a new site, on one way links only. You can actually find tons of them using this method and directories.

    Some of you may be asking how do I find all the directories. Well, niche market directories really require your searching, usually deep in the bowels of the results. However, here today I am going to share with you some of the benefits of months of hard work. I hope many of you will add to your link collection after this post. It will require some time and effort on your part, but the time is well worth it.
  4. #3
  5. Mr. Goober Guy ;)
    SEO Chat Good Citizen (1000 - 1499 posts)

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Tampa, Florida
    Posts
    1,320
    Rep Power
    24

    Finally......


    However, let me recommend unless you have a directory you do not link to a directory in a link exchange unless you see benefit for your visitors, then place the link in your content not on a link page.

    Directory Listings:
    http://www.dmoz.org - (We must never leave out the most powerful "God" like directory on the web) Only submit your site ONCE to Dmoz then walk away. Worrying about them will waste your time you could spend getting links from places that will actually give them to most sites. While visiting dmoz, be sure to use their directory to find...yes...yes...yes....directories. They have tons and tons and tons and it just means spending a day or two looking, getting past all the DEAD LINKS...lmbo...and redirct sites to find them...but still worth doing. I found quite a few for several sites.
    Other terrific resources are:
    http://www.web-inspect.com/list-of-directories.php
    http://www.isedb.com/
    http://www.7in1web.com/submit.htm

    This is one of my favorites...I know..looks cheezy but sometimes cheese is good...except when you're constipated...lol
    http://www.geocities.com/site_vortex/Directories_Indexes_Portals.html

    http://www.definiteweb.com/list-of-directories.htm
    http://www.dreamsubmit.net/series/Series_list_regional_home1.html
    http://www.seosites.com/seo/search_engines/country_specific_search_engines/united_states/united_states_search_engines.html
    http://www.directoryarchives.com/index.php
    http://www.strongestlinks.com/directories.php

    I could post hundreds of Directory addresses here, but my god the time that would take me. However, you will find most of them listed in the above. Sorting out which aren't would definitely be a "Loo" job for me and fortunately, I don't have to go just yet....lol

    SE of interest to submit your site to after you have added all your links to the relevant directories....lol - Remember, SE that spider follow links to index new sites. Submissions can be a waste of your good time as your site will be found by the ones that matter using the back links to your site you have built.

    http://www.7in1web.com/Search_engines.htm

    In addition, you can always write, submit articles and insert your links into these:
    http://www.paidproject.com/news.php
    http://www.prweb.com/
    Many additional sources for article submissions are located here:
    http://www.seobook.com/archives/000099.shtml

    Another great tool is the Co-Op advertising network. This technique has proven itself time and again in Yahoo, MSN and MSN Beta for KW ranking results for each site I have added to it:
    http://www.digitalpoint.com/tools/ad-network/ (Note that I did not use my own personal code. This is a true recommendation to a system that can do wonders for your rankings)

    These additional items are listed because they are very important to your sites development.

    There are many, many tools one can use so this is literally a snippet of only a few I have listings for in various locations.

    As far as site development is concerned, I use Web Ceo for my own site analysis. I'll not post a link, however, the free version kicks butt with no spam and lots and lots of functions including KW rankings, density analysis, automatic updates, etc etc. I highly encourage everyone to review this tool if you're not using one already, or the one you use leaves you wanting.

    Web Design - one of the best reads you'll have:
    http://www.webdesignfromscratch.com/tutorials.cfm
    Additional very helpful information:
    http://usability.gov/guidelines/

    For Copywrite:
    http://www.copywriting.net/5_copywriting_keys.html

    Not sure if your site is up to code check you pages using these tools:
    http://www.w3.org/MarkUp/
    http://www.delorie.com/web/lynxview.cgi?url=http://www.webproworld.com/posting.php?mode=editpost&p=166797
    http://www.sitereportcard.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=257c0ead659b2e15e0b7d823e3d5b4 8c

    Just starting out? This is a good starting point. However, you can also check these tools:
    http://www.webmaster-toolkit.com/

    This is a great tool for analyzing anyones site:
    http://www.faganfinder.com/urlinfo/

    A final note, and the best advise I can give to those working hard to develop rankings. Do not focus on PR. Focus on links and link quality. PR is a natural reflection of these two factors. While PR is green, pretty and nice to brag about, we build our sites not for the Green bar but for the Green cash they can create. PR does not equal traffic or cash, however, all good links lead to Traffic, Cash and eventually that PR you so desire.

    So, that's the end of my lesson and my 400th post. I could and really want to add so much more to this in tools and resources, but It would take me hours and would eventually be no fun. This forum has been a blessing to my own sites rankings and I hope this post has paid back just a portion of all that everyone here has given to me.

    Now, I know many of you are just dying to know what happened with my constipation and laxative experience. Well...I am still waiting for that situation to resolve itself and it's now 8:30 PM. Ugggggggggh....

    Cheers to All!
  6. #4
  7. L8r
    SEO Chat Adventurer (500 - 999 posts)

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    My New Found Land
    Posts
    876
    Rep Power
    15
    Good grief GC! Ok, I read the first paragraph and got the impression that this was a long one....boy is that an understatement!

    I'll be back to read it l8r, but if the first couple of paragraphs are any indication, this is gonna be good humrous post.

    Congrats on the 400 :9
  8. #5
  9. Contributing User
    SEO Chat High Scholar (3500 - 3999 posts)

    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Louisiana, USA
    Posts
    3,874
    Rep Power
    23
    Wow! I'm not sure there are words to describe it except for... wow!

    Thanks for the entertaining read...and...lots of darn good stuff in there. All you newbies...print it out, and keep in the bathroom. Will make for darn good reading material for, well, you know...
  10. #6
  11. B afraid.. B very afraid!
    SEO Chat Mastermind (5000+ posts)

    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Land of enchantment... deserts of the Southwest
    Posts
    9,695
    Rep Power
    2401
    While sitting in the loo, read and re-read the several posts in print out form. Once through, you can then put it behind you...
    ...Never mistake activity for achievement...

    ...Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it....
    Benjamin Franklin
  12. #7
  13. Unclassified
    SEO Chat Adventurer (500 - 999 posts)

    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Birmingham, UK
    Posts
    531
    Rep Power
    15
    Originally Posted by SEO_AM
    While sitting in the loo, read and re-read the several posts in print out form. Once through, you can then put it behind you...


    Nice post gchaney, although that must have been one hell of a dump you went for on your Winnie the Pooh Loo !!
  14. #8
  15. Around...The
    SEO Chat Discoverer (100 - 499 posts)

    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Amsterdam
    Posts
    456
    Rep Power
    16
    Laught my way through it and some good info!

    Am looking forward to your 1000th post!
  16. #9
  17. unused title
    SEO Chat Adventurer (500 - 999 posts)

    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Downunder
    Posts
    741
    Rep Power
    17
    nicely written gchaney, you dont come across an article written in this manner very often anymore. Was smiling all the way through, and you give some very good advice.


    cheers
  18. #10
  19. http://tinyurl.com/cz56g
    SEO Chat Mastermind (5000+ posts)

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    D0RDRECHT NL
    Posts
    6,063
    Rep Power
    31
    I just read it all in one go, and it's one to remember. Great way to celebrate your 400/401/402th post

    You should have a loo-laptop ;) saves you the effort of writing first and typing later...

    P.S> put a link to this thread in your sig...
    ...please help me w/ the real Redscowl Bluesingsky...how2 check backlinks...now postin' @ SEO Refugee ...
    <`)~ LOL now that I finally have a paypal account, I'm charging 19,- for SEO advice via PM. Seriously...
  20. #11
  21. No Profile Picture
    SE0
    Contributing User
    SEO Chat Explorer (0 - 99 posts)

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    99
    Rep Power
    15
    I printed the whole thing on paper. Now I'm going to the bathroom. Thank you gchaney, I got to this post from your sig (of course). You answered one of my other questions about linking and I figured out you know what you are talking about. I opened this thread, and damn man! Great job!

  22. #12
  23. Unclassified
    SEO Chat Adventurer (500 - 999 posts)

    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Birmingham, UK
    Posts
    531
    Rep Power
    15

    Mysterious drop in number of posts


    Apologies if this has been mentioned already, I did do a search and couldn't find anything, but what has happened to your post count gchaney ??

    Did you upset one of the Mods? I know threads can get deleted which can cause a minor drop in a users post count but you're currently showing as 18 posts, that's some drop. Did something go wrong that I missed? :-?
  24. #13
  25. Mr. Goober Guy ;)
    SEO Chat Good Citizen (1000 - 1499 posts)

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Tampa, Florida
    Posts
    1,320
    Rep Power
    24
    Originally Posted by Click4
    Apologies if this has been mentioned already, I did do a search and couldn't find anything, but what has happened to your post count gchaney ??

    Did you upset one of the Mods? I know threads can get deleted which can cause a minor drop in a users post count but you're currently showing as 18 posts, that's some drop. Did something go wrong that I missed? :-?
    Nah, I did some house cleaning. I'm very surprised as you're the only one that noticed...lmbo.....nothing like sayin important stuff and nobody payin attention eh...just made the cleaning all that much cleaner.....lol

    ;)
  26. #14
  27. http://tinyurl.com/cz56g
    SEO Chat Mastermind (5000+ posts)

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    D0RDRECHT NL
    Posts
    6,063
    Rep Power
    31
    It sure got rid of your sig and avatar. Pity, that. (the words baby and bathwater spring to mind ;) )
  28. #15
  29. Mr. Goober Guy ;)
    SEO Chat Good Citizen (1000 - 1499 posts)

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Tampa, Florida
    Posts
    1,320
    Rep Power
    24
    Originally Posted by Wit
    It sure got rid of your sig and avatar. Pity, that. (the words baby and bathwater spring to mind ;) )
    Actually Wit, I removed them myself. lol

    Figured I was gonna have to get up to 100 posts and would save the mods the time of removing them by just not having them on

    Cheers
Page 1 of 2 12 Last
  • Jump to page:

Similar Threads

  1. My 1000th Post
    By Jasontnyc in forum SEO Help (General Chat)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: Jan 6th, 2005, 10:34 AM
  2. My 100th Post
    By Gr8ted3s in forum Google Optimization
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: Jan 4th, 2005, 01:24 AM
  3. My 1,000th Post
    By SEO_AM in forum SEO Help (General Chat)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: Jul 4th, 2004, 12:31 PM

IMN logo majestic logo threadwatch logo seochat tools logo